The Big Coop In The Sky

This is Flo, reporting to you from Cluckingham Palace. It has been awhile since we have posted. The Palace been a rather a somber place this Summer. We have lost three chickens to the "Big Coop in the Sky". The deaths of our sisters and the Earl have taken a toll on the farmers confidence.

We lost our sisters Michelle and Nizzy and the Earl. RIP Girls. We were hoping, in death, you could escape the Earl, but he went with you. Bless your hearts.

Today was the monthly Palace cleaning. The farmers arrived with equipment, buckets, brushes, gloves and a small army of helpers. They turned the palace inside out. They scrubbed and cleaned for hours. I had to get in there. I am an afternoon layer and they decided to clean out my nesting box! Farmer K saw my distress and threw some nesting flakes in my box. I watched them clean out the palace and they watch me lay my egg. It was a little undignified I might add. I fussed at them and told them to get out, but Farmer B had a crazed look in her eye and a sparkling clean palace was the only cure.

We are happy, happy hens. No boys, only girls at the Palace. We aren't scared anymore and our feathers are growing back from the Earls affections. We are much more trusting and like the farmers to hand feed us our meal worms.

The Farmers know we will all go to the Big Coop in the Sky eventually. They were not prepared for the suddenness of our sweet girls...and the Earl. They were all given a fond farewell from the Cluckingham Palace and will be missed terribly.

Queens of the Castle

This is Connie and Bonnie, The Cinnamon Queens,  reporting to you from our new home, Cluckingham Palace.  We have had a time fitting in with the ladies here. It is getting better though. We like the farmers and we like our new digs. Connie and I are the low girls on the pecking order. The jesters of the palace, if you will. The Farmers are extra sweet to us and make sure when they throw meal worms, they toss us some separately or we wouldn't get any! The Barred rock girls make sure of that. The first couple of days we butted heads with the Easter Egger ( EE's) girls, literally. There was mild blood shed through the fence and the Farmers had to render first aid to their girls cause we plucked their heads. We may be sweet, but we are not to be toyed with. We can take care of business if need be.  Recently, the EEs have warmed up to us and don't bother us anymore. The Barred Rock (BR) girls still don't share well. They make sure if we find something to take it away. They are mean girls!

The Earl loves us and seems takes good care of us. It does come with a price though...

The BR girls wont let us roost with them yet, so the farmers built us a roosting bar so now we can roost when we want. They also built us more nesting boxes. The other girls take up the nesting boxes- all day- and we couldn't lay our eggs. They are such stinkers!


We really like to recess on the range. This makes Connie and I sing like canaries- but prettier.  We have learned when it is time to come in from recess and when it is OK to eat from the buffet. The Farmers also hid a feeder in the Palace so we can eat when we want. Those BR girls -again- have a hard time sharing. Farmer B thinks the BR girls are enjoying not being at the bottom of the pecking order anymore and the power has gone to their heads!

We are learning how things work at the palace. Before you know it, we will take our rightful place as Queens of the Castle. For now, we will play along... :)    

Hen Party

This is Trisha, reporting to you live from the lovely Cluckingham Palace. The weather is beautiful and we are singing and enjoying the warm days and cool nights. We, The Easter Eggers, love Easter. Our eggs look especially beautiful this time of year. We are certainly proud of the beautiful colors we lay. 

 

The nursery is busy and noisy with the toddler chicks. They are Blue Laced Red Wyandotts. They are cute, trying to imitate us. They scratch the ground like big girls, but they don't know what they are looking for. They play fight too. Its funny to watch them establish a toddler pecking order. The little girls get into a big, heated fight complete with flaring hackles then, something shiny catches their eye and off they go! They forget they are fighting.  We remember when the barred rock girls were babies. They were so cute and would sit on the Farmers heads and practice roosting. Then... they grew up. (insert eye roll here) 

The other night, a big rain came and flooded the courtyard. We were a muddy mess. The Farmers showed up to bring us our buffet of veggies. They took one look at us and just shook their heads. We were playing and scratching in the mud like little pigs. The thought of catching and bathing 17 chickens must have been more than the Farmers could take.  We didn't get baths. 

Little Farmer R plays ball every evening. He is on two different teams. Lately, the farmers have been flying in and out of the palace with our food and water like their pants are on fire.  We miss their long visits in the evening when we can recess on the range. We get a little frantic when we see them approach the gate and then won't let us out! Cranky is an understatement. We are like a hoard of flapping feathers. We look forward to weekends when the Farmers let us out.We like to take our sweet time to inspect every blade of grass for delicious bugs. The grasshoppers will be coming soon. Those are our ultimate favorite. There have been serious knock-down-drag-out fights over those tasty morsels. There is no allegiance and all bets are off when one of us is lucky enough to catch one. We turn on each other. The grasshoppers have some kind of hold on us. Those tasty nuggets make us crazy cluckers for sure. 

Nizzy seems to be doing much better. The Farmers think she must have passed the egg at some point. Personally, I think she  played sick to get special treatment and /or to get away from the Earl. At our hen party, we discussed at length and agreed she had way too much fun with the Farmers while we fended off the advances of the Earl. We are still a little miffed with her about that.

The Earl, aka"Soup", has been a little more aggressive with the help lately. The Farmers are on high alert around him. He is one moody dude. One thing is for sure, he can take a lickin' and keep on tickin' then heads back for more. We tell him all the time he is pushing his luck by chasing the Farmers. Most of the time, Farmer B carries a foam sword for protection. The Earl loves a good sword fight.  There is a duel that usually ends with the Earl tucking his tail feathers and running for cover. Farmer B said to the Earl,  "Soup sounds good tonight". (The girls and I got a good chuckle out of that one.) The Earl better watch it or he will find himself in a bachelor pad all alone.

This is Trisha, signing off for now! I heard the meal worm bag rustle. 

On A Wing And A Prayer

This is Michelle reporting to you live from the Palace.  We were a little worried for our Easter Egger sister Nizzy. She has been walking funny, like a penguin and making funny noises. We knew something was really wrong when Farmer B was able to pick her up with out a fuss. She is not one you can pick up very easily. The Farmers suspected she was egg bound. That is where the egg may be too big to pass and can create a blockage.

Farmer B had this idea in her head of what it would be like to be a chicken farmer before we arrived. It looked something like this...

However, recent events with Nizzy have re-framed how Farmer B thinks of chicken farming. The Farmers had to research what to do with an egg bound chicken. The "how to" videos were horrifying. Giving Nizzy a spa bath to soak was one thing, but if that didn't work... Farmer B would have a new title: Dr. Farmer B, Chicken Gynecologist. (Insert farmer B's face with giant eyes here)

Farmer B had no idea that was part of the deal or even a possibility. She sat at her computer in disbelief trying to find the courage to do what need to be done for Nizzy if the unfortunate occurred and she was not able to pass the egg. She called a few vets to see if there was a way to get out of the impending duty of assisting Nizzy if she couldn't pass the egg.  There wasn't.    
On a wing and a prayer, Farmer B dawned her gloves, put on her best face (which looked like the face she would make if she were being chased by a clown with a machete) and enlisted the help of Little Farmer R. They learned a lot about chicken anatomy that day. A lot they wished they could forget I am sure. Farmer B had to answer many questions by Little Farmer R. It was an uncomfortable day for all involved. Little Farmer R was a trooper though. He gave Nizzy liquid calcium and pedialyte with a syringe. He was very patient and very kind to Nizzy. Farmer B was very proud of Little Farmer R. After a couple of days of modified SPA Treatments, Nizzy seems to be feeling better. The girls and I are getting a little tired of reports that she is getting all the blue berries she wants, special water and getting to sit in the Farmer's lap receiving special love and attention. We also hear that she has her own room and most of all is getting to avoid the Earl!  There are even a few rumors she and the babies have been talking.. oh, and the selfies.  We heard there were selfies. We are not very happy with Nizzy at the moment. 

Walking On Egg Shells

This is Scarlet reporting to you live from Cluckingham Palace. (Disclaimer: Don't read this to your little chicks. You might have to explain things that you were not ready to explain.)

The Earl has done it this time. He is in the dog house, literally. Springtime at Cluckingham Palace has been a learning experience for the farmers. Its like Fifty Shades of Gray Feathers around here. The Earl is feistier than ever. He is really doing what roosters do in Springtime, looks for love in all wrong the places, the left places, the right places, every and all places. He is a giant nuisance to the Easter Egger girls. They avoid him like the avian bird flu. The Barred Rock girls, lets just say, know resistance is futile and don't put up much of a fight.
Farmer B came this evening to let us "recess on the range". She and the Earl have a rocky relationship at best. They have a love/ hate thing going on. Most of the time she calls him "soup". Recently, before spring, The Earl got sassy with Farmer B when she tried to collect our eggs. There happened to be a broom close by and he got his back side fluffed a few times. Then, there was the time he tried to fight her when her back was turned while refilling our water fountain in the court yard. Needless to say, the bucket went flying and half the girls were drenched with water. We are still terrified of that bucket. Then, last night, when we were recessing on the range, the Earl was in full panic mode. It was like he was the last rooster in existence and it was his responsibility to save the chicken race by procreating. The Farmer was getting tired of him chasing us down and showing us his affection. She decided to bring us in early with the "call of our kingdom". Usually, she shakes the meal worm sack to get our attention and tosses them in the courtyard for us to feast. We all race in like a heard of buffalo and she closes the gate behind us. But for some reason, probably due to his heightened desires to procreate, it infuriated the Earl. He made the unfortunate decision to go for the Farmer. She blocked him with the sack.With his talons, the Earl ripped that sack clean open and it rained meal worms! The irritating part for the farmer was that the sack ripped outside of the Palace walls and then we certainly had no intention of going inside until every meal worm was devoured. By the way, it was a three pound bag of meal worms which looks like the equivalent of approximately a billion freeze dried worms. He didn't stop there, he just kept going for the farmers legs. His hackles were blazing and he looked like the meanest rooster this side of the kingdom. Farmer B reached in her bag-o-tricks and pulled out a spray bottle of water and started hosing the Earl. He HATED that and ran for the hills. She chased him into the west wing where Bonnie and Connie stayed when they first arrived. The Farmer slammed the door behind him and he was all alone....imprisoned in our dungeon (formerly the west wing) for his behavior. He was one fit-to-be-tied rooster. He paced the dungeon with a fury unlike anything I have ever seen. He threw such a fit. Squawked, crowed and fussed. He did not like the dungeon one bit.

The Earl was sentenced to stay the night in the dungeon (It has a modified Dog house. So, he is literally in the dog house). She left him food and water, but I don't think he as any intention of calming down long enough to eat or drink.  We, the 12 girls, took advantage of his imprisonment and got really good spots on the roosting bars! He usually makes us sit where he wants us to by pecking our feet till we move to a new spot.  Not tonight Earl! We are taking the Palace back. Well, at least until your parole in the morning, then it will be back to walking on egg shells.

A Thing for Red Heads

This is Trisha reporting to you from exciting Cluckingham Palace. We woke up the other morning to hear Farmer B calling us. She usually comes in the evening. So, we quickly hauled our tail feathers to the courtyard to see what she brought us. We all gathered at the palace wall to greet her. She was looking around for something, but we couldn't tell what.  Then, like an alien dropping out of the sky, a red Cinnamon Queen hen stuck her head out of the palace and stood in the threshold of the door. The girls immediately started to gather and gossip. "Where the heck did she come from?", "Was she in there all night?", "How the heck did she get in the palace?" As we pondered how she made it into the Palace, The Earl stood in a frozen state staring at the Cinnamon Queen. The "Red Head" knew she had the Earl in a trance. She slowly stretched her legs and wing feathers and... I swear... she did a slow motion hair flip. The Earl, if you can imagine, had heart bubbles popping all around him while the song "Dream Weaver" played in the background.

The Barred Rock girls, the black and white hens, like being the Earls favorite and immediately took a dislike to the new girl. The red head walked down the ramp and started to explore the courtyard. The Earl saw the perfect opportunity to show off and try to woo her. He slowly stretched out his wing like a geisha fan. He did a few scoots to show her the dance of love. She played coy, cooed and jumped on a hay bail close to Farmer B. The Earl was excited and quickly followed the red head like he was caught in a tractor beam. He crowed and crowed to show her his amazing lung capacity. (Insert eye roll here)  He looked up at the Farmer and seemed to give her a wink, which made Farmer B burst into hysterical laughter.

Lucy, the smallest of the Barred Rocks but not to be underestimated, loves the Earl. She was not happy about the new girl at all. When she saw her opportunity she took it. She jumped on the red head and started a brawl!  We were clucking and squawking, "fight, fight!"  The Earl immediately jumped right in the middle of the fight, broke it up and separated the girls before anyone even got a scratch. Farmer B usually calls the Earl "Soup", but today, gave him accolades for being a good rooster and breaking up the fight. Farmer B tossed us glorious meal worms for his wisdom and bravery. We are getting used to the new girl. She is sweet. The Farmer calls her Bonnie. She said she slipped her in, at night, while we slept. They have been staying in the West wing for the last two weeks. We have already had a few run-ins through the fence with those girls. Farmer B said the Cinnamon Queens were looking for a new palace to call home and we were to be nice to the new girls. Hummm....we thought Farmer B had a better understanding of how pecking orders work. She has a sister, Connie, that will be joining us tomorrow night. It will be interesting to see what the Earl does when he is seeing double. He certainly has a thing for red heads!

Fashionista Chicks

This is Nancy reporting to you live from the first annual Cluckingham Palace Chronicles Fashion Show!  We are very excited and have been pacing the courtyard all morning for the arrival of the Farmers with our new wardrobes. The Farmers bought us capes, they are also called Chicken Saddles, for protection from Earl's relentless pursuits of love. To our surprise, they also brought guests with them! Two new hens. Cinnamon Queens named Connie and Bonnie. The hens were looking for a new palace to call home. The Farmers said we have plenty of room at the palace for two new beauties. They are staying in the west wing of the palace for a couple of weeks until they move into the palace with us.

The "behind the scenes" of the fashion show was a mess. The farmers had to catch us first.  That was fun. The Farmers got lots of exercise this morning! Catching 11 chickens is not easy.  After they caught us, they clipped our nails, cleaned our combs, checked our undercarriages...we really hate that. Even the Earl got the ol' spa treatment. Then, they got us dressed. We looked marvelous! These hand made capes are simply everything a chick would want. Definitely fitting for royalty.

While the Farmers were working on me, Flo decided to check out Connie and Bonnie. She walked up to the fence, a few clucks happened, and both of them were madder than two old wet hens! Their hackle feathers were all ruffled. They began to fight through the fence and Flo got a bloody nose. The Farmers panicked. They broke up the fight and rendered first aid to Flo.  You didn't hear it from me, but Flo thinks she is head hen. She even attacked The Earl when he first arrived. (That poor boy didn't know what hit him.) Michelle was furious at the attack on her sister and began fussing at the fence with Connie. Connie didn't back down and didn't seem a bit scared. Farmer B broke up the fight before it got ugly. Those Cinnamon Queens are not to be toyed with. They got everyone settled down with some meal worms. Meal worms are the great equalizer at the Palace.

We all look fabulous. We strutted our stuff past the Earl. We are driving him nuts.  :) The Earl danced and danced for us. He really liked our new wardrobes.

I went by and visited with Bonnie and Connie while everyone was busy with brunch.  They seem sweet and we had a nice little chat. Flo is very protective of the flock and is very particular with the pecking order. This will take some time to win Flo over. The new girls will have their own space for a bit to slowly integrate them. The Farmers built a barrier to keep them from fighting through the fence.

The Fashionista Chick show was a success- other than a few fights and a bloody nose. The Farmers brought us some lettuce to munch on after the fun.  The farmers seemed more tired than usual after the fashion show, so we gave them the afternoon off.

Spring Chickens

This is Trisha reporting to you from the joyous Cluckingham Palace. We love spring. We love Daylight Savings Time. This means longer free ranging in the evenings with the farmers. When Farmer B comes in the evening, she brings treats and we know it. We see her driving up and we all flock to the corner of the courtyard to greet her. When she makes it to the courtyard gate, we rush to the door and hop, hop, hop. Farmer B calls us "popcorn chicken" when we do that. We can't help it, we are so excited!

Tonight she brought us watermelon, blueberries and spinach topped with a sprinkling of meal worms. If chickens had lips, we would be smacking them! Delicious. As we devoured our buffet of happiness, the Earl was on high alert. That guy is something else. Takes his job very seriously. He likes to point out the food Farmer B brings like he brought the buffet. He calls us over to show us he found something we might like. Afterwards, he walks around strutting his stuff. Very proud, very annoying. Tonight, we had visitors. The Earl does not appreciate unannounced visitors. He gets his feathers all ruffled.


One visitor, was another bird. It was a pretty bird that just came up and started hanging out with us like they were part of the flock. The Earl flew into a frenzy and chased the little guy off. He, again, strutted his stuff like he saved the world. In mid strut, the the Earl started crowing like his tail feathers were caught in the palace door or something. We all got scared when we looked up from our scratching and Earl had bolted for the palace. Leaving us all in his dust. He is such a gallant rooster. (insert eye roll here)

We anxiously followed him into the courtyard. The Farmer was looking for the danger that the Earl was proclaiming was "our impending doom". About fifty yards away, we saw the majestic creature.  Earl squawked, fussed and flapped his wings in an attempt to frighten away the intruder. Farmer B told the Earl to "put a sock in it". That didn't stop him though. The creature didn't seem to think The Earl was a threat and stood in the tree line watching us. The Earl did not like the creature's boldness and continued to pepper the creature with a series of crows that could probably break glass. The creature flipped its tail and slowly disappeared into the woods. I don't think the creature was as scared as the Earl would have liked it to be. You would think he just saved the palace from a pack of ravenous wolves. He danced and scooted trying to show off for us. While he danced and proclaimed his victory, we went in the Palace and went to bed.  The Farmer got a good laugh at the Earl when he realized he was the only one left outside.

Special Delivery

This is Flo reporting to you live from the Palace. We are so excited to announce the arrival of four new babies to flock! The girls and I just love babies. We try to hatch some of our own, but the farmers act like every day is Easter and hunt to find the eggs we hide. They are three weeks old, (on Wednesday) which means they were born around Valentine's Day.

The babies, (hopefully all pullets/girls) were so tired from their journey. They slept a long time. The farmers sat with the babies for several hours taking vigil.  Finally, Farmer B got up at 2 am to check on the babies and they were up eating and drinking and chirping away. WHEW! The farmers were very nervous that the trip was too much for them, but they are strong little chicks! They will fit in just fine around here!

The farmers say the babies are "Blue Laced Red Wyandotte". They will be very pretty when they are full grown. Cross your feathers, we hope they will have blue feathers. We asked the farmers what vintage names the babies will have. The farmers scratched their heads and said, "Let's ask your readers."  The girls think the farmers hatched a good idea!

Fans of Cluckingham Palace Chronicles, we would love to hear your suggestions for names for the baby girls!

Pandemonium At The Palace

This is Earl, reporting to you live from the safety of the palace walls. We had a close one tonight. Farmer B showed up tonight to let us out for "recess on the range". She brought us mixed greens with blueberries. This is one of the palace favorites. While the girls were feasting, I had my watchful eye on the surroundings. Claudette walked by and I did a dance for her. Those barred rock girls love me.  I started chatting it up with her and showing her my handsomeness. Unbeknownst to us, danger lurked in the distance. The wind picked up and I snapped to. The danger was fast approaching. I  began crowing to the girls, " Get your tail feathers back to the palace!" I, of course, made it back to the palace first. The Easter Egger girls filed in after me frantically squawking and running into each other. The barred rock girls are fearless. They just watched the chaos unfold. Farmer B was not helping the situation -at all- by laughing. I clucked a few demands at the hard-headed Barred Rocks and they reluctantly came to me. As I began to assess the danger, the vile beast of white and red began to antagonize me. I frilled my amazing feathers in an attempt to frighten the beast. Why is that farmer laughing??

The beast charged and found itself pinned to the fence. Seeing as I am on the inside of the fence, the beast will surely eat the farmer first. The beast is making a hideous noise that is making me more mad by the minute. (The girls will think I am the cock of the walk for sure when I defeat this terrible menace. I will throw in a few extra scoots in my moves. That will get me some attention later for sure!)

The farmer walks up to the beast, after I wore it down with my magnificent and deadly moves. I apparently rendered it helpless, because she snatched it right up, wadded it into a ball and threw it in the trash. She called it a sack. This beast was a formidable opponent, but fell to my mighty moves.

After saving the girls lives, yet again, I shall walk a little taller. Even if the Farmer said I was a dumb chicken.

The Ladies of Cluckingham Palace

We are 10 hens who love to tell stories about our palace in Oklahoma. Due to our popularity on social media and much encouragement from our fans, we have decided to start a blog to document our interesting lives. (Farmer B just informed us that if our egos get any bigger we wont fit in the coop.- how rude.)

We have an "Earl" of Cluckingham Palace. He is the rooster and believes he is the king of the universe. (Insert eye roll here) 

We also have our "loyal subjects" the Farmers' K and B. They are the caretakers of the palace and our small flock.  We will share our tales and adventures from our perspective. We hope you enjoy our very egg-citing first blog.  Of course you will, who wouldn't like chickens who type?

P.S. We are the queens of grammatical errors and dangling participials. (Just a warning for the grammar police.)